When John the Baptist described himself as “the voice of one crying in the wilderness,” he was both literally in the (Judean) wilderness and he was crying out to the people of his nation to repent of their sinful ways because the Messiah was coming.
John’s words on that occasion were in response to demands from representatives of the Sanhedrin, the Judean political establishment, who demanded to know who he thought he was when he declared those same leaders to be a “brood of vipers.”
I was immediately reminded of the Baptist when I began reading What Really Matters, the latest book by Tim Goeglein, which pulls together a bunch of his columns from recent years to focus on how to recover the six qualities most critical to the revival of this once-Shining City on a Hill we call America.
Tim, who has been vice president for government and external relations with Focus on the Family since 2009, is among the most well-connected and respected Christian conservative activists in the nation’s capital. That’s a position he’s more than earned, having previously endured a well-publicized trial by fire and redemption in 2008 at the end of his long tenure serving as President George W. Bush’s chief emissary to the conservative movement. I’ve known and worked with Tim since long before that trial and know him to be a man of immense courage, humility, and deep faith.
I mention this aspect of Tim’s story because of his “Concluding Thoughts” at the end of his new book:
“These columns express my heart for the nation I love—a nation built on the ideals of faith, freedom, and family. Because I love this nation so much, it is my heartfelt desire to see it return to these values so it can once again be a light to an increasingly dark world.
“I believe the return to these values will be the antidote to purge our nation of its current poisonous climate of political polarization. Communities and relationships will be restored as we acknowledge and practice our faith through treating our fellow citizens with dignity and respect, children are provided loving and nurturing homes, and schools once again become places of learning rather than indoctrination. It is my hope you will join me in praying for this day.”
I have no doubt that I am but one among millions of Americans for whom Tim’s words perfectly express their heartfelt yearning for the return of the America we formerly knew and for some time now have legitimately feared may be forever lost. Lost, that is, unless we as a people find the courage and determination to recover these six values that matter most to a healthy nation.
“What Matters Most” are six critically needed restorations because “as President Ronald Reagan warned, our nation is in great peril because we have forgotten what we have done, and we have no idea who we are.” I know too well how it so often feels like one is crying in the wilderness when warning Americans, as Tim does in this fine book, of what Reagan so eloquently and precisely expressed.
Thus, the heart of Tim’s book is the six chapters devoted to restoring, respectively, Marriage, Family, the American Male, a Well-Ordered Society, Faith, and the Importance of History. It is no coincidence that chapter one focuses on marriage because, as is noted over and over in most of the 17 columns collected on the issue, strong marital unions are the foundation of both individual happiness and societal order.
The fact that strong marriages make happy men and women is factually demonstrated by multiple peer-reviewed social science studies, many of which Tim quotes. The American Community Survey, for example, finds married mothers between the ages of 18 and 55 have a mean annual household income of $133,000, compared to $79,000 for single, childless women in the same age bracket.
But that is just the beginning of personal contentment and happiness, as it goes beyond just financial means. In the American Family Survey, 33 percent of these same married mothers reported they were “completely satisfied” with their lives. In contrast, only 15 percent of single and childless women felt the same way.
In addition, about 60 percent of those single and childless women were more likely to report feelings of loneliness compared to married mothers. This suggests the bonds created through family and friends are perhaps the most important factor in life satisfaction.
And it’s not just women who live happier lives through committed marriage. Tim points us to a study by Professor John Darby at the University of Southern California documenting how committed married men are happier, less self-absorbed, and more empathetic to others.
So why are fewer than half of adult Americans married these days? As Tim documents, too many in our society have been misled by myths such as the one that the key to finding a good marriage is taking a trial run via cohabitation.
Goeglein tells us about an analysis of 50,000 marital records in the federal National Survey of Family Growth. The analysis was performed by the Institute for Family Studies’ Dr. Brad Wilcox and his colleague Lyman Stone.
Wilcox and Stone concluded that women who cohabited prior to marriage were 15 percent more likely to end up in divorce court, and they added that a Stanford University study of women who married someone other than the man with whom they had cohabited was twice as likely to get divorced.
It turns out as well that men and women in committed marriages are the happiest people among us. Goeglein turns to Sam Peltzman, lead researcher on a massive study by the University of Chicago that concluded that a strong marriage is the number one factor to personal happiness. According to Peltzman:
Marital status is and has been a very important marker for happiness. The happiness landslide comes entirely from the married. Low happiness characterizes all types of non-married. No subsequent population categorization will yield so large a difference in happiness across so many people … the recent decline in the married share of adults can explain (statistically) most of the decline in personal happiness.
Happy marriages are vital to mental health, but Goeglein also found numerous analyses that concluded saying yes for life also contributes mightily to physical health as well. A study published by the Global Epidemology journal examined more than 11,000 nurses who were single at the outset of their careers, then compared over time the comparative health outcomes among those who remained single and those who married.
“The women who got married were not only happier emotionally, but also healthier physically. The married women had lower risks of cardiovascular disease, had less depression and loneliness, felt a greater sense of purpose and hope, and were happier and more optimistic than their unmarried peers,” Goeglein explained in his column quoted in “What Really Matters.”
These observations from the marriage chapter are merely an introduction to the deep, extensively documented data, logic, and common-sense wisdom Goeglein poured into his book. And be assured that all of the remaining five chapters are just as well done, important, and deserving of frank reading and assessment by everyone who cares about what’s ahead for the United States.
Tim’s book also strikes a strong chord with me because, in years past (but especially during the Obama era), I often thought of writing one entitled What a Boomer Fears Most. The daily demands of running investigative reporting teams at the Washington Examiner and then the Daily Caller News Foundation rendered such a project all but impossible.
But that’s fine because Tim has written it and almost certainly done a far better job than I would have. And after reading it, I am confident that his is the voice of a prophet to be heeded and not one crying in a wilderness.
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