Poultry & Politics: 5 Ways to Avoid a Thanksgiving Disaster

Turning the political temperature down is key.

Thanksgiving has become increasingly complicated in the past decade, as political rhetoric has intensified across the United States. Many may remember their childhood holidays when the chief argument at the table was whether mashed potatoes should be put through a ricer or whipped with a hand mixer. Fast forward to 2025, and we, the people, appear to be in the same pickle we were in back in 2016, as pro- and anti-Trump forces bring their political ideologies to the table, ready for war.

This notion of entering hostile territory has been sucking the fun out of Thanksgiving. Instead of an attitude of gratitude, many are girded for battle. Before fear of the family table takes root, we humbly suggest the following methods to keep the political temperature at a simmer instead of a boil.

#1: Leave the Swag at Home and Pass the Bread Stuffing

Imagine Aunt Thelma’s house is your local polling place. You wouldn’t wear a MAGA hat or “Deplorables” T-shirt when you go to vote, so it’s probably best to put on your Turkey-Day sweater and leave the political swag at home. It only revs up the engine of hostility before a word is even spoken and sets the stage for potential conflict before you sit down at the table.

#2: Don’t Think of the Thanksgiving Table as The Hague

The Hague Court is the only international body established to prosecute people for crimes against humanity. The official tribunal is known as the International Court of Justice and was established to settle disputes. Don’t set out to prosecute your case for or against your particular political persuasion at the Thanksgiving table. It will only be met with likely aggression. Suppose one of your relatives insists upon extoling the virtues of Kamala Harris or Joe Biden. Don’t take it as a call to the witness stand. This is one time when it might be best to ignore a comment and ask someone to pass the cranberry sauce.

#3: Don’t Take the Bait

There’s always one family member who manages to be the most obnoxious, who loves to start a firestorm and remain in the center of it. These individuals thrive off inciting a riot. Think of them as mini-Antifas sitting at your table just waiting to throw the first brick at you. The only way to manage such relatives is not to take the bait. Let them stand alone in their odd and wayward comments without any retort. A ball doesn’t come back to you unless it hits a backboard, so without such a mechanism, there’s really no place for them to go. At this point, changing the subject might be a good strategy. “Some weather we’re having, don’t you think, Uncle Fred?”

#4 Arm Yourself With Safe Topics

Come to the table with a buffet of safe topics at the ready. Amusing stories, making fun of yourself, or retelling humorous events from past holidays is a sure-fire way to avoid partisan political ideology. It’s hard for troublemakers to bring up divisive issues when everyone is laughing at the latest family foible. Travel and leisure activities are at the top of this list, along with the aforementioned weather.

#5 Lower Your Expectations

The Thanksgiving table was not invented as a political town hall. It’s doubtful anything you say is going to convince Aunt Gertrude not to vote for her favorite leftist. In fact, registering your disapproval of the next municipal socialist will only encourage them to extoll his or her virtues. Think of the day in terms of peaceful coexistence – something the left touts but rarely follows through on with action. However, if managed properly, you can step away from the family table knowing you did nothing to cause friction, invited people to engage in friendly banter peacefully, and refused to take offense when a political fire was lit. In essence, you’ll be the one everyone wants to have at their Thanksgiving table next year, and you’ll be no worse for wear.