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Rattlesnake Rikers? Coyote Cañon? – Noem Working on 5 More Alligator Alcatraz-Type Prisons, And We Have Suggestions

Are you a fan of the Department of Homeland Security opening its new Alligator Alcatraz detention facility in the Florida Everglades? If so, get ready.

More detention facilities could be on the way.

DHS Secretary Kristi Noem announced Saturday that five governors — all Republicans — are in talks to put facilities similar to Florida’s in their own states.

Although the Washington Examiner reported Noem did not name names, those states would use Alligator Alcatraz as a model for what their own facilities could be.

Of course, without details, this is only speculation, but here are some amusing options in keeping with the theme DHS decided to bring to Florida.

Arkansas could be the new home of “Rattlesnake Rikers.”

This facility, situated in the Ozark Mountains, could feature the western diamondback and timber rattlesnakes indigenous to the area.

Should we begin building more Alligator Alcatraz-style facilities to house criminal illegals?

The name is, course, inspired by Rikers Island in New York City.

“Cottonmouth Calipatria” would find a suitable home in Alabama. Cottonmouths, also known as water moccasins, are found in the Mobile-Tensaw River Delta, where this facility could go.

Calipatria is a prison in California known for its isolation units.

“Coyote Cañon” in southern Utah is pretty self-explanatory, with native coyotes, extreme heat, rugged terrain, and the Colorado State Penitentiary in Cañon City also serving as deterrents.

“Grizzly Guthrie” in the tundra near Denali in Alaska would surely make any prisoner think twice before trying to escape, knowing extreme cold and fierce grizzly bears await them.

Related:

Brutal Poll Shows Hispanics Want to Actually Decrease Immigration, Deals Gut Punch to Dems

The name takes its inspiration from Guthrie’s historic Oklahoma prison.

Lastly, “Cougar Cummins” could be placed in the Sawtooth Range in Idaho. Native mountain lions, or cougars, and cold temperatures would surely cause some problems for escapees. The name takes inspiration from the Cummins Unit in Arkansas.

Remember, all of this is happening to deal with overcrowding brought on by the Biden administration’s massive influx of illegal immigrants, now being rounded up by President Donald Trump’s DHS and Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Don’t want to face alligators, grizzlies, cougars, or cottonmouths?

Great. Take the $1,000 offered by DHS and self-deport.

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