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Seeking Motivated Professionals for High-Impact Leadership Roles in Iranian Defense Sector

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June 20, 2025

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Neocon Don mulls crushing Iran with big, beautiful bombs.

Communist cries like a bitch after defending terrorism.

We finally found a “No Kings” protester who’s actually (kind of) hot.

One good reason to watch the WNBA.

It’s Friday, June 20, 2025

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Things are not going well for Iran: They’re losing the war against Israel. Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei is 86—even older than Joe Biden—and is believed to be in a “difficult mental state” due to the fact that most of his senior commanders have been killed. In one instance, Mossad agents hacked into Iran’s military communications system and lured more than 20 members of the air force’s senior staff into a fake meeting in a bunker before destroying the bunker in an airstrike. It’s not uncommon for individuals suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s disease to behave erratically when their routines are disrupted. For example, the supreme leader keeps insisting the Iranian “conquest” over Israel is “imminent,” raising serious questions about his grasp of reality and fitness to serve.

For the good of the country, Khamenei must go. (He might already be dead by the time you read this.)

Career-ending promotions: Most organizations struggle to retain talent, but the Islamic Republic is struggling to stop its military leaders from dying. Earlier this week, Maj. Gen. Ali Shadmani, the most senior commander in Iran, was killed in an Israeli airstrike just days after he was promoted to replace his predecessor, who was killed in the first wave of attacks.

All eyes on Neocon Don: Will the United States help Israel finish the job by dropping our big, beautiful, bunker-busting bombs on the Fordow nuclear site in Iran? The world is waiting to see what America’s supreme leader, Donald Trump, is going to do. We might already know the answer by the time you read this, but in the meantime, Trump seems to be enjoying the suspense. “You don’t know that I’m gonna even do it,” he told a filthy journalist at the White House. “You don’t know. I may do it. I may not do it. I mean, nobody knows what I’m gonna do. I can tell you this, that Iran’s got a lot of trouble.”

Ladies and gentleman, the Democrats: They were hoping to spend the entire week denouncing fascism and whining about civility after some guy named Alex Padilla, who is apparently the senior U.S. senator from California, was forcibly removed from a DHS press briefing he attempted to disrupt last Thursday. Then Israel bombed Iran. That didn’t stop Democrats from shrieking about how Padilla-Gate was the worst assault on American democracy since 9/11, but no one cared, not even their friends in the media. Here’s what else they’ve been up to these past few days:

Brad Lander (pictured above), the New York City comptroller and candidate for mayor, was arrested for trying to prevent federal agents from detaining an illegal immigrant at a courthouse in Manhattan. The white Democrat was photographed wrestling with a group of hardworking Latino and Asian immigration officers who were just trying to do their jobs.
Ilhan Omar, the anti-Semitic congresswoman from Minnesota, described America as “one of the worst countries,” and implied that living here in 2025 was even worse than growing up in Somalia under a military dictatorship. This is exactly the sort of uplifting message Democrats should run on in 2026.
Ken Martin, the newly elected chair of the DNC, is under fire for being terrible at his job. The New York Times reports that the party’s financial situation has “grown so bleak that top officials have discussed whether they might need to borrow money this year to keep paying the bills.” One frustrated Democrat told Politico that Martin was widely perceived as “weak and whiney.” Say what you will about the guy, at least he’s on brand.
Radical left-wing Chicago mayor Brandon Johnson went on CNN and was asked how he could justify spending millions of dollars on benefits for illegal immigrants in light of the city’s massive budget deficit. Doing what comes naturally, Johnson dodged the question and blamed Trump for trying to “eliminate black existence from this country.”
Zohran Mamdani, the radical left-wing Democrat running for mayor of New York City, cried like a bitch while attempting to explain his controversial defense of the phrase “globalize the intifada,” seen by many Jews as an incitement to anti-Semitic violence. Lander, the Jewish mayoral candidate arrested for interfering with immigration officers, slammed Mamdani for refusing to condemn a phrase he considered to be a call for “open season on Jews everywhere in the world.” Mamdani remains one of the two most likely candidates to win the mayoral election. The other is disgraced former governor Andrew Cuomo, brother of disgraced former CNN anchor Chris “Fredo” Cuomo.
Padilla cried like a bitch on the floor of the U.S. Senate while recounting being “pushed and pulled” by U.S. Secret Service agents who followed standard protocol in dealing with a random intruder.
In an effort to boost the party’s appeal with normal men, Texas Democrats elected a new vice chair for finance named Kolby Duhon.

We finally found a ‘No Kings’ protester who is actually (sort of) hot: The anti-Trump protests that took place over the weekend featured a lot of upside-down American flags. For some reason, the mainstream media have not thrown a tantrum like they did in 2024 after the New York Times unearthed a photo (taken years earlier) of an inverted flag flying outside the home of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito. That upside-down flag, apparently placed by Alito’s wife to annoy her obnoxious liberal neighbor, was a “jaw-dropping” and “disgusting” display of “insurrectionist” sentiment. It was an assault on the U.S. Constitution, the moral equivalent of digging up George Washington’s grave and crucifying a bald eagle hatchling on a cross made out of his leg bones.

Read more: The Founders Are Weeping

While perusing countless photos from the “No Kings” protests, we couldn’t help but notice that none of the participants were particularly attractive or under the age of 65. Our journalistic duty compelled us to spend hours upon tedious hours sifting through every available photo on the internet.

We searched…

… and searched…

… until we finally found a few that might be (almost) considered (sort of) hot.

It’s the best we could do.

FLASHBACK: We Finally Found a ‘Free Palestine’ Protester Who Is Actually Kind of Hot

EXCLUSIVE: We Finally Found a 'Free Palestine' Protester Who Is Actually Kind of Hot

In related news: Some idiot started a Change.org petition to ban one of the WNBA’s hottest players, Sophie Cunningham, for her “repeated displays of unsportsmanlike conduct” during a recent game. The Indiana Fever babe was ejected after committing a hard foul on a Connecticut Sun player in apparent retaliation for the team’s incessant physical harassment of her star teammate Caitlin Clarke. Stay strong, Sophie!